Ok, Yall, I'm really gonna post this one this time. I've written about six posts over the past 3 weeks, and decided that they either sounded too dumb to post or to incoherent to be understood, but i promise this one will make it :)
I've been back home (my home away from home) for about 3 weeks, and let me tell you, it has really been a challenge. There is so much that God is (trying) to teach me, but I'm a drawbond, and I'm hard headed, so more often than not, I learn those lessons the hard way. Right now, there are 2 big ones that He's trying to get thru to this hard head of mine, and they are Praise and Trust.
1 Thess. 5:18 says, "In everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (NASB)". The word for "everything" in Greek here means "any" or/and "all" things. (btw, yep, I'll be the first to tell you, I got all of the nerd genes of the family)
This idea was brought home for me when I learned the phrase in arabic. "Al-hum-doo Isa" (Thank/Praise Jesus). Sometimes, this is very hard to do, and many times doesnt make sense. Am I supposed to thank Him when the guys around me make me laugh so hard i cant breathe and my sides hurt? Yes. Thank Him when I wake up all extra happy even though I've only had 4 hours of sleep and have an 18 hour day ahead of me? Yes. Thank Him even though I'm 7 thousand miles away from home? Uh-huh. Praise Him because I've eaten chicken 8 days this week? Yep. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Thank Him. (Shukran Jehzeelehn, Isa-Thank you very much, Jesus)
The second thing that I'm learning very slowly is trust, and this is the harder of the two. In his song "When the mountains fall", Mark Schultz says this, "When the mountains fall, the rivers rise, security crumbles before your eyes, one thing you know, in faith you'll find something to stand on, OR you will be taught to fly". The Lord is trying to teach me to trust Him step by step. He says that His Word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path, and my smart alec-ness (yep, that's a word) pops up and asks, "Why does it have to be a candle? or a nightlight? Why cant it be one of those Lowes/Home Depot Motion Detector Flood lights?" Then I could almost see Him looking at me with one of those parental looks (aka the "Donna" look-you know what I'm talking about; the one where you get stared at from overtop of their glasses, or where their head tilts to one side that says w/o words "dont be gettin' smart), and He said, "One step at a time, hardhead." So I'm learning to be patient, and walk (albeit somewhat begrudgingly,) one step at a time.
In other news, The countdown is now a total of 33 lbs lost (since Oct. 15th.), and for the first time in a LONG LONG LONG...LONG time, I'm under 200. And I dont think I've ever felt better. (20 more lbs to go and I'll be right where I want to be, and get to keep my E-5 slot!)
Alot of people here have asked me, "What are you doing?" One guy even accused me of being on crack :) And here it is: One of my very best friends/mentors, Ginger has always told me, "Until the pain of staying the same is GREATER than the pain of change, then chances are, there will be no change". The first step was WANTING to change, setting goals, reasons for those goals and a plan to achieve those goals. The second step was to stop eating the garbage that i had been eating for so long- stop drinking cokes and eating fast food, and start hookin up some protein and cutting back on carbs. Is it a DIET? Nope. Right now, it's a lifestyle...the way things are. Change comes from the inside, and I think the same is true for our spiritual lives. We will not grow spiritually, or go to the "next level" until we are sick and tired of being stuck where we are.
Finally (I'm almost through, then I'll shut up), I want to let everyone know that we are doing okay, and we are safe, and hopefully dont have but a few more months to go. I appreciate everyone's prayers and support, it is a comforting thing to know that people are lifting you up to the Throne of Grace.
Sorry that i've rambled on, if you and I have ever talked, you know this is nothing new :)
Assad Isa Alkatakoom (May Jesus fill your times with joy)-
James
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1 comment:
hey james.. that's an incredible post. Thank you so much for sharing and it did not sound ridiculous, nor rambling (don't worry i always ramble or preach!) I am excited to see what God is doing in your life. Congratulations on your weight loss. That has really encouraged me also. I have also always struggled with this and i agree it does require a heart change for me. Reading about this has challenged me also. I was doing realy good when i trained for a marathon 2 years in a row before coming to nepal.. but since nepal it's been easier to revert to my old patterns. So thanks for the encouragement. I am praying for you alot!
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