Ok, Yall, I'm really gonna post this one this time. I've written about six posts over the past 3 weeks, and decided that they either sounded too dumb to post or to incoherent to be understood, but i promise this one will make it :)
I've been back home (my home away from home) for about 3 weeks, and let me tell you, it has really been a challenge. There is so much that God is (trying) to teach me, but I'm a drawbond, and I'm hard headed, so more often than not, I learn those lessons the hard way. Right now, there are 2 big ones that He's trying to get thru to this hard head of mine, and they are Praise and Trust.
1 Thess. 5:18 says, "In everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (NASB)". The word for "everything" in Greek here means "any" or/and "all" things. (btw, yep, I'll be the first to tell you, I got all of the nerd genes of the family)
This idea was brought home for me when I learned the phrase in arabic. "Al-hum-doo Isa" (Thank/Praise Jesus). Sometimes, this is very hard to do, and many times doesnt make sense. Am I supposed to thank Him when the guys around me make me laugh so hard i cant breathe and my sides hurt? Yes. Thank Him when I wake up all extra happy even though I've only had 4 hours of sleep and have an 18 hour day ahead of me? Yes. Thank Him even though I'm 7 thousand miles away from home? Uh-huh. Praise Him because I've eaten chicken 8 days this week? Yep. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Thank Him. (Shukran Jehzeelehn, Isa-Thank you very much, Jesus)
The second thing that I'm learning very slowly is trust, and this is the harder of the two. In his song "When the mountains fall", Mark Schultz says this, "When the mountains fall, the rivers rise, security crumbles before your eyes, one thing you know, in faith you'll find something to stand on, OR you will be taught to fly". The Lord is trying to teach me to trust Him step by step. He says that His Word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path, and my smart alec-ness (yep, that's a word) pops up and asks, "Why does it have to be a candle? or a nightlight? Why cant it be one of those Lowes/Home Depot Motion Detector Flood lights?" Then I could almost see Him looking at me with one of those parental looks (aka the "Donna" look-you know what I'm talking about; the one where you get stared at from overtop of their glasses, or where their head tilts to one side that says w/o words "dont be gettin' smart), and He said, "One step at a time, hardhead." So I'm learning to be patient, and walk (albeit somewhat begrudgingly,) one step at a time.
In other news, The countdown is now a total of 33 lbs lost (since Oct. 15th.), and for the first time in a LONG LONG LONG...LONG time, I'm under 200. And I dont think I've ever felt better. (20 more lbs to go and I'll be right where I want to be, and get to keep my E-5 slot!)
Alot of people here have asked me, "What are you doing?" One guy even accused me of being on crack :) And here it is: One of my very best friends/mentors, Ginger has always told me, "Until the pain of staying the same is GREATER than the pain of change, then chances are, there will be no change". The first step was WANTING to change, setting goals, reasons for those goals and a plan to achieve those goals. The second step was to stop eating the garbage that i had been eating for so long- stop drinking cokes and eating fast food, and start hookin up some protein and cutting back on carbs. Is it a DIET? Nope. Right now, it's a lifestyle...the way things are. Change comes from the inside, and I think the same is true for our spiritual lives. We will not grow spiritually, or go to the "next level" until we are sick and tired of being stuck where we are.
Finally (I'm almost through, then I'll shut up), I want to let everyone know that we are doing okay, and we are safe, and hopefully dont have but a few more months to go. I appreciate everyone's prayers and support, it is a comforting thing to know that people are lifting you up to the Throne of Grace.
Sorry that i've rambled on, if you and I have ever talked, you know this is nothing new :)
Assad Isa Alkatakoom (May Jesus fill your times with joy)-
James
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Morning comes too soon!
So this morning, I woke up about 4 a.m., which seems to have been the norm since I've been home, and there were 2 things impressed on me. (Apparently, my mind works in multiples).
The first was to continue to loose weight and put on muscle. I'll admit, that sounds very strange to hear me say that, because I've been fat for...well, too long to count. I just didnt want change bad enough to do anything about it. Well, we "crossed the big pond" in early september, and I started working out with my buddy, Wayne on October 15th. And in exactly 2 months, I had lost 30 pounds. I WAS 232 pounds, and now, I'm 202. And I'm not talking about looking like Arnold, just getting in shape. (Other than circle...circle ISNT a shape ;-). I head back to SouthWest Asia in 2 days, and I just felt impressed to make a new plan, to set new goals, because if I can loose 30 lbs of fat in 2 months, What can potentially happen in the 6 more months I have left?
The second thing is that there are areas of my life yet unsurrendered to God, and I know in my heart of hearts that He wants them, and that as long as they are unsurrendered, they will hinder me in being and doing all that He wants me to be and do. That may sound very simple, like you just want to go, "well, then, just surrender it!- Duh!" But sometimes, it's just not that simple. So, I pray for strength and wisdom to let it go.
Now, just rambling on a bit, I find it funny, that once I lost a significant amount of weight, I began to talk about "the way I used to be". And then, I remembered a passage from a book I recently read, (But sadly, now I dont remember if it was Our Covenant God or Velvet Elvis). Anyway, the author says that in the 1st Century, Christians refered to the way they were before they became Christians as the "old man" or "The way we were before". Before we met this man, Jesus, before we were reconciled and reunited with the King of Everything, and adopted as His Sons and Daughters through His Sacrifice, His body, His blood, His love. And I think that sometimes, we forget that, as Christians. We know who we WERE, because that's still a part of our past, our history, and we struggle with that "old way" every day, and Fail (alot) to see ourselves the way that Christ sees us. Down south, where I was raised, you are all the time hearing , "Well, I'm just a sinner saved by grace." And the truth is...you (we) WERE just a sinner, saved by grace, NOW you are the Righteousness of God, Kings and Priests to God (2 Cor. 5:21, Rev. 1:6, 5:10).
Anyway, I dont know if any of that made sense, and sorry for the rambling. Like I said, it's early.
The first was to continue to loose weight and put on muscle. I'll admit, that sounds very strange to hear me say that, because I've been fat for...well, too long to count. I just didnt want change bad enough to do anything about it. Well, we "crossed the big pond" in early september, and I started working out with my buddy, Wayne on October 15th. And in exactly 2 months, I had lost 30 pounds. I WAS 232 pounds, and now, I'm 202. And I'm not talking about looking like Arnold, just getting in shape. (Other than circle...circle ISNT a shape ;-). I head back to SouthWest Asia in 2 days, and I just felt impressed to make a new plan, to set new goals, because if I can loose 30 lbs of fat in 2 months, What can potentially happen in the 6 more months I have left?
The second thing is that there are areas of my life yet unsurrendered to God, and I know in my heart of hearts that He wants them, and that as long as they are unsurrendered, they will hinder me in being and doing all that He wants me to be and do. That may sound very simple, like you just want to go, "well, then, just surrender it!- Duh!" But sometimes, it's just not that simple. So, I pray for strength and wisdom to let it go.
Now, just rambling on a bit, I find it funny, that once I lost a significant amount of weight, I began to talk about "the way I used to be". And then, I remembered a passage from a book I recently read, (But sadly, now I dont remember if it was Our Covenant God or Velvet Elvis). Anyway, the author says that in the 1st Century, Christians refered to the way they were before they became Christians as the "old man" or "The way we were before". Before we met this man, Jesus, before we were reconciled and reunited with the King of Everything, and adopted as His Sons and Daughters through His Sacrifice, His body, His blood, His love. And I think that sometimes, we forget that, as Christians. We know who we WERE, because that's still a part of our past, our history, and we struggle with that "old way" every day, and Fail (alot) to see ourselves the way that Christ sees us. Down south, where I was raised, you are all the time hearing , "Well, I'm just a sinner saved by grace." And the truth is...you (we) WERE just a sinner, saved by grace, NOW you are the Righteousness of God, Kings and Priests to God (2 Cor. 5:21, Rev. 1:6, 5:10).
Anyway, I dont know if any of that made sense, and sorry for the rambling. Like I said, it's early.
Finally...
I have really struggled with what to put here as my first blog...I guess no one wants to tell all their business to the entire world and sound like an idiot, so if this does, well, too bad :)
I am home (Praise God) on leave from the Big Sandbox, and I must admit, it hasnt been anything like I expected. I hadnt truly realized how much I have changed over the past six months since I've been gone, and truthfully, expected that someone hit the "pause" button on life and people back home, knowing all the time that that is impossible. So this also being the holidays, there has been alot of lonliness for me, even surrounded by friends and family, probably from knowing that I'm leaving here in a short time to return to my "condo on the beach without water". But there have been two truths that have come to my mind from the Word of God. The first was given to me by my friend Jenn, in an email, and that is 1 Corinthians 8:3, which says, "If anyone loves God, he is known by God", and the second is Romans 9:25-26, in which Jesus says, "I will call those who are not loved, "Beloved", and in the place where it was said to them, "You are NOT my people", there they will be called, "Sons of the Living God".
As I've been here, enjoying the time that I've had with my family and friends, and trusting God in the heartache, He's been faithful to remind me that I am HIS. He loves me, even when I dont even LIKE me, and I'm His Son. No matter what.
I am home (Praise God) on leave from the Big Sandbox, and I must admit, it hasnt been anything like I expected. I hadnt truly realized how much I have changed over the past six months since I've been gone, and truthfully, expected that someone hit the "pause" button on life and people back home, knowing all the time that that is impossible. So this also being the holidays, there has been alot of lonliness for me, even surrounded by friends and family, probably from knowing that I'm leaving here in a short time to return to my "condo on the beach without water". But there have been two truths that have come to my mind from the Word of God. The first was given to me by my friend Jenn, in an email, and that is 1 Corinthians 8:3, which says, "If anyone loves God, he is known by God", and the second is Romans 9:25-26, in which Jesus says, "I will call those who are not loved, "Beloved", and in the place where it was said to them, "You are NOT my people", there they will be called, "Sons of the Living God".
As I've been here, enjoying the time that I've had with my family and friends, and trusting God in the heartache, He's been faithful to remind me that I am HIS. He loves me, even when I dont even LIKE me, and I'm His Son. No matter what.
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