The Terrible Blogger Strikes Again!

Well, I'm back and guess it's time for my one post for this mellinium :) I just got back in from my trip to Texas last week, and have been spending this week working on stuff for VBS, packing, and spending time with my family and friends, who I will be leaving at the end of the month. On that note, however, I have to say that once I got done with my visit to Arlington Baptist College, I never felt more sure of anything in my life. It was the same assurance/confidence that I had when I got back to Iraq from R&R. You know that little voice inside that tells you that you are exactly where God wants you to be? Yeah, that one. And I am really excited about it. For me, it's almost like starting over, because the only people that I know are my sister and her family, and my buddy Rob who's up at Dallas Theological. And that's it. So it'll be an adventure to say the least, and an opportunity to become part of a whole new community of believers and friends.

While I was there, Rob and I got to hang out, and man, let me tell you, it is never boring with him! He picked me up at ABC, and we made like a baby and headed out to grab some lunch. On the way, his front passenger tire shredded while we were going down some big ol' highway. (and for the record, yes, everything IS bigger in Texas-and the answer for any question you have about Texas is "Because it's Texas", and strangely enough, it makes sense) So, after an eternity (ok, 45 minutes or so), we put his spare tire on, pump it up, and go on our way. We hit up his apartment, did some odds and ends for his 'landlord' aka slavedriver/overseer (My words not his) and went up to Dallas Theological. That place has the biggest, most gianormous library that I've ever seen. 5 floors of books. Yep. 5. Cinco, Khamsa, Panchs. 5. When Solomon wrote "the writing of many books is endless (Ecc. 12:12)" , he was talking about DTS. But it was awesome to be at the place where some of the most well known teachers, preachers, and theologians of our day have been.

So now, I've got a little less than a month left here in Chattanooga, and dont know what I was thinking when I assumed that things would settle down, because they havent. So hopefully, they will once I head out west. We'll see...

Oh, and let me share a quote with y'all that I came across in "living by the Book" (it's one of my text books for my Bible Study Methods Class) and let me know what you think.

"The Bible will either keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from the Bible"
(My thoughts on that to follow...)

Ilbob Efta (The Open Door)

Ok, so I'll be the first to admit that I am the world's worst blogger. I know...I know...but things have been crazy since we got home two weeks ago (exactly) and I am just now stopping to get my bearings and slow down enough to finally post. And let me say that I have no idea where to begin, so this'll be completely random.

I guess the biggest news is that I got accepted to Arlington Baptist College in Texas, where I'll be majoring in Biblical Counseling. I remember talking to my sister (thru instant messenger) and deciding to do this back in January. There were two things that went through my head as I resolved to do this...a) That sometimes in life you have to take risks, and that if you're in the Will of God, nothing and no one, not even me, can mess that up, and b) I thought "If I don't do this now, I'll regret it for the rest of my life". So after what felt like eons of waiting and wondering if I made the right decision, I finally found out on May 22nd (when we first flew back in the country) that I got accepted! So now, a new journey begins...(And thanks to everyone who has been praying for that-sorry to keep you waiting for so long-and Rebecca and Robert...I cant even begin to tell you how thankful and grateful I am for everything that you guys have done...muchos muchos gracias!)

Also, I fell 3 pounds short of my weight loss goal. The original goal was to weigh 180 lbs by the time we left Iraq, BUT I finally made "tape", and dropped my bodyfat % a ton, so I'm good with it. It's funny, I remember writing in a journal a couple of years back that when people saw me, I wanted them to say "wow" not "woah", and that's finally happening. And even though I've only been back 2 weeks, me and my boy Flip have been going to the Rush in Hixson for about a week and a half, and it has been great. Despite all that we can't control in our lives, this is one thing that we, I, can, and even if you've had the worst day in the world, you can go workout hard, and it seems like everything is going to be alright. (And it is, that's a promise. Check out Romans 8:28)

I do have to say, going back to church was really wierd, because I recognized alot of people, but I couldnt remember some of their names, so I'd just wait for someone to holler at them, then I'd remember. And I was really suprised on my first service back in a year (it was a Wednesday) because not only did they move the College/Career group "Quarter Life Celebration" (QLC) to Wednesdays, but invited my Monday Night Bible Study Teacher, (and one of my very very good friends) Ann Blackburn to speak, and she is always such a blessing! (And she's a fireball too, so if you're in the Cleveland, Dayton, or Hixson/Chattanooga areas, get plugged in!)

On that note, this past weekend there was a Chrysalis Walk/Flight in Cleveland. For those of you who dont know, Chrysalis is the youth version of the Walk to Emmaus. Normally, when I go to help and serve, I'm in the kitchen, and let me tell you, we were throwin' down and cookin it up! I'm talkin about fajitas, mastacholli, Aretha Frankensteins' pancakes (they are awesome), fried potatoes and onions, ham/turkey subs, the best roast beef you've ever eaten in your life, homemade chicken noodle soup, and it goes on...and dont even get me started on the dessert...italian ice, brownies and ice cream, peach cobbler, chocolate torte, and homemade cheesecake. Working in the kitchen there is one of the toughest jobs, partly because you are feeding atleast 80 people (not to mention everyone that comes to help serve) but also cooking almost everything from scratch, washing all the dishes, setting tables...you can get to feelin like Brother Lawrence...but to have an outlet to serve, and just be the hands and feet of Jesus, man, there is nothing like it. While I'm at it, I want to say a huge THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to everyone in the Emmaus Community for praying for me. You will Never Ever know just how much you mean to me until we get to glory, and I really mean that.

Now that I've rambled, let me talk about the title of this blog, then I'll shut up :-) Ilbob Efta is arabic for "the open door". God has used my going to Iraq to open the doors for me to do things that I thought would never be possible. Friends have become brothers and sisters, prayer warriors, gotten into shape, and finally gotten into college. When God's got a plan for you, and you are open to it, He will make it all happen. That doesnt mean that it wont take some work on your part, or that you'll see the whole plan at once, OR that the path wont be extremely difficult; but it does mean that He will guide you each step of the way, and that He will work it all out wether WE see it or not. So let me encourage you to walk in whatever God's calling you to do, and if you dont know, ask!

Until we get back home

Ok, just a real quick post to catch everyone up. We will be leaving the sandbox very very soon. Sorry that I can't say when, exactly-security reasons-but know that I mean Very soon. We are all doing really well, and everyone is anxious to get back to the states and get back to whatever it is that they call normal. I know that I really stink at blogging, but I promise that once we get back home, I'll be able to have a good internet connection again, and can fill you in on some of the things that I cant tell you while i'm still here, so look for the next post in June. To everyone who has supported us, prayed for us, Thank you so much. You'll never know what it means, and I pray that God returns the blessing to you 100 fold. See you in June!

Can't Hardly Wait

Well, I thought I'd put up a real quick post before I go to bed. (We're back on night shift again...booooo...but atleast it'll be cool, the temperature here is back up in the triple digits).

Y'all, I am really looking forward to coming home. I didnt realize how much that I took for granted back home...not huge things, just little things, like singing at the top of my lungs, (I'm all about some singing!) and going to church, (ok, ok, and going to church and singing at the top of my lungs :) And I dont think that I have to mention grass and trees...I'm not a tree hugger, but I do miss seeing green stuff! And Walmart, but if you know me, you know that's a given. And I cannot wait to be back in the kitchen in Johnston Woods in Cleveland!

So I've been thinking lately about life, because to be honest, I've been kindof down the past few days, maybe it's because I know that we're "cuttin' the links off our short timer's chain"-as my dad would say-and partly because I see where I am in life, and where I want to be, and the realization that I'm not there yet. See, I'm one of those who think that I should get things on the first try, that I should already be "there"...you know what I mean? Forget running the race, I should already be at the finish line. I dont know why, that's just the way it is. I'll be the first to tell you, that God has really been working on me since I've been here. And that's the biggest thing. I see where I am spiritually, and I know where I should be, and I'm not there. I know that He has called me to teach and counsel, but there's still so much that I dont know, and that's maybe part of this 'itchin' to be home. I'm ready to be back in a place where I can study, and ask questions, and learn, and be able to hear the Voice of the Lord without having to push through the mess and darkness that you have to get through here. So, I'm holding my breath, and counting down the days.

Also, please keep praying for my college application. Our postal system isnt very user friendly, and there's a chance that it'll come back to me AGAIN, in which case, I'll just have to wait to send it when I get back to the states. BUT I really feel like the Lord wants me in Texas, wants me in School, so I can finally do what He's called me to do.

Finally, so yall all know, we are still doing okay, just antsy about coming home, and we are all safe. I want all of you to know that your prayers mean sooo much. Once I'm home, I'll share a little more about 'here', I cant right now, though, because of security, but soon I will :)

love yall-

james

ps-when i get back home, the party's on!

Catch up

Min enshufuc akoon zein (When I see you, I am good: Ok, ok, it makes more sense in arabic, but it's pretty close to "I'm happy to see you" and since I cant really see yall, this is the best i can do: )

Ok, before I start, let me make a quick apology to those who thought I'd never post again! Add the "battle with the internet" to one of the great battles that have been fought here...I'm actually amazed that I was finally able to log on...Alhumdu Isa!! Some days I can log on to my email, some days I cant...some days I can get onto blogger, and then I get kicked off, so hopefully I can type this before I get kicked off, and maybe it'll let me post it. I hope that once we get back to the states, I can keep this thing updated more.

Anyway, let me give you a quick update: We have a month (give or take a week or two) left here, and things are getting crazy (majhnoon in arabic). Here lately, it's one of those "just when you think things cant get much sillier...they do". And a bunch of us here are trying to keep our cool, but it seems that lately, the harder we try, the harder it is, so please pray for patience!! And so everyone knows, we havent had any more 'excitement', and we are all safe and okay...just more frustrated ;)

Yall, I am looking forward to going home so much! And for the record, I've got 4 more lbs to go until I reach my goal of 180. When i started working out in October, I was 232...not anymore :) Jack, our interpreter taught me a phrase (he was in the same boat, but now he's about 185). We were talking about it the other day with another one of the interpreters, and the other guy said, "yeah, Jack was 'dub-dub'". When I asked Jack what that was, he giggled and said, "Dub-dub is 'fatty-fatty'" then he busted out laughing. It's 'fatty-fatty' in a Major Payne-ish (one tubby tubby, two tubby tubby) way, not a mean way. (And once I do reach that goal, dubdub will be part of a blog that's floating around in my head, so look for it)

Also, here lately, it has been a roller coaster spiritually...some days ya get up and feel like you're right there next to Isa, (Jesus in arabic-see the "too long in the sand" list below), and other days it feels like you are pulling a Peter and following him from far off. But I am confident that there is something going on here in South Asia, just based on the amount of spiritual warfare that's been going on. Sometimes I catch myself wondering if I wont be back overhere on the civilian side one day...Ma'dree (I dont know!)

Finally, (i know this is random...welcome to my world) here's a list that we've been putting together "How you know you've been playing in the Sandbox too long"

1-You start speaking part English/Part arabic in everyday conversation, and folks understand you!
2-You turn off the dvd that you're watching because one of the characters is wearing yellow.
3- 130 degrees outside is 'just a little warm' but 65 degrees is 'freezing'
4-When you can greet people in 3 different languages other than english (and they understand you!)
5-When the sound of random gunfire no longer bothers you
6- When you swat the flies, and they swat back at you!!
7-When you eat chicken 8 days a week, and it doesnt bother you!

Well, that's all i've got for right now :) I'll try to keep yall updated on our trip home as much as possible. OH, and before I forget, please pray about our transition home, AND my college application...apparently it was lost in the mail, so I have to redo the whole thing over again.

Masalama (goodbye !)

Songs

Be forewarned, this is a sad post. But it's something that I want to share. My sister recently shared this song with me, and it really made me think (and cry...if you listen to it, it'll probably make you do the same). It's called "If you're reading this" by Tim McGraw.

If you’re readin’ this
My momma’s sittin’ there
Looks like I only got a one way ticket over here.
I sure wish I could give you one more kiss
War was just a game we played when we were kids
Well I’m layin’ down my gun
I’m hanging up my boots
I’m up here with God and we’re both watchin’ over you
So lay me down
In that open field out on the edge of town
And know my soul
Is where my momma always prayed that it would go.
If you’re readin’ this I’m already home.
If you’re readin’ this
Half way around the world
I won’t be there to see the birth of our little girl
I hope she looks like you
I hope she fights like me
And stands up for the innocent and the weak
I’m layin’ down my gun,
I’m hanging up my boots
Tell dad I don’t regret that I followed in his shoes
So lay me down
In that open field out on the edge of town
And know my soul
is where my momma always prayed that it would go
If you’re readin’ this, I’m already home
If you’re readin’ this,
There’s gonna come a day
You move on and find someone else and that’s okay
Just remember this
I’m in a better place
Soldiers live in peace and angels sing amazing grace
So lay me down
In that open field out on the edge of town
And know my soul is where my momma always prayed that it would go
If you’re readin’ this
If you’re readin’ this
I’m already home

This song...made me think about what awaits us after "here". And why we do the things we do, live the lives we do. I recently decided to finally go to college to persue a Counciling Degree and also (hopefully) become an ASL interpreter, (Please pray for open doors, wisdom and direction) because the thought occured to me that I didnt want to go back home, work my factory job, day in and out for what? Just to pay bills...And I know that if I dont take this step, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. For a long time, I have felt called to Teach and Council (as my friend Ginger will tell you :) and College is part of that calling. But for what? It is more than just "to make a difference in people's lives", it's to point them to the Master, to allow HIM to change them, and watch them grow, and live the life that HE has called them to Live, to earn the Crown that we will soooo eagerly cast at His more than worthy feet, telling Him by action, and not by lip service that it's all about HIM. (And it is...even though I forget that ALOT).

But it also made me remember that we, as Believers, have not passed from death to life just to die again, but leave this world to be with the ONE who has Redeemed us, to finally look on the face of the ONE who loves us more than we could imagine, the ONE who has healed us with HIS stripes and pulled us out of our mess and our pits with HIS strong nail scarred hand. That leaving all this behind, as sad as it is to think about, means trading struggles and trials for a place of Joy...a home. (It's no suprise to me that the sign for "home" in Sign Lang. has 2 parts, the sign for "eat" and the sign for "rest"-w/ God, we'll do both, and i'm all about the eatin and restin!!)

We recently lost a Third Country National in a rocket attack, and as I looked at his body being carried out on a stretcher, I couldnt help but wonder, "Did he know?" "Has he seen, experienced the Love of Christ?" And this is where I need help...in showing (and sharing) His love with everyone, not just the people I like, not just the people who are my friends, but to the ones who get on my nerve beginings, to the ones who I just cant stand to be around. (I'll bet its safe to say we all know people like that), to, as the Jars of Clay song says, "serve the ones that I despise, speak the Words I cant deny". (Also, let me add that no American was touched during the attack-Yes, God does answer prayers, and is true to His word (Psalm 91).

Anyway, I wanted to share that with you. Thanks, Becca (mi hermana favorita) for sharing that song w/ me-TE AMO!!) Also, I'm gonna try to post a picture on here, its of a few of us and one of our Cultural Advisors.

Ra'Hameck ISA (Jesus Bless you-)

James

Really gonna post this time

Ok, Yall, I'm really gonna post this one this time. I've written about six posts over the past 3 weeks, and decided that they either sounded too dumb to post or to incoherent to be understood, but i promise this one will make it :)

I've been back home (my home away from home) for about 3 weeks, and let me tell you, it has really been a challenge. There is so much that God is (trying) to teach me, but I'm a drawbond, and I'm hard headed, so more often than not, I learn those lessons the hard way. Right now, there are 2 big ones that He's trying to get thru to this hard head of mine, and they are Praise and Trust.

1 Thess. 5:18 says, "In everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (NASB)". The word for "everything" in Greek here means "any" or/and "all" things. (btw, yep, I'll be the first to tell you, I got all of the nerd genes of the family)
This idea was brought home for me when I learned the phrase in arabic. "Al-hum-doo Isa" (Thank/Praise Jesus). Sometimes, this is very hard to do, and many times doesnt make sense. Am I supposed to thank Him when the guys around me make me laugh so hard i cant breathe and my sides hurt? Yes. Thank Him when I wake up all extra happy even though I've only had 4 hours of sleep and have an 18 hour day ahead of me? Yes. Thank Him even though I'm 7 thousand miles away from home? Uh-huh. Praise Him because I've eaten chicken 8 days this week? Yep. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Thank Him. (Shukran Jehzeelehn, Isa-Thank you very much, Jesus)

The second thing that I'm learning very slowly is trust, and this is the harder of the two. In his song "When the mountains fall", Mark Schultz says this, "When the mountains fall, the rivers rise, security crumbles before your eyes, one thing you know, in faith you'll find something to stand on, OR you will be taught to fly". The Lord is trying to teach me to trust Him step by step. He says that His Word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path, and my smart alec-ness (yep, that's a word) pops up and asks, "Why does it have to be a candle? or a nightlight? Why cant it be one of those Lowes/Home Depot Motion Detector Flood lights?" Then I could almost see Him looking at me with one of those parental looks (aka the "Donna" look-you know what I'm talking about; the one where you get stared at from overtop of their glasses, or where their head tilts to one side that says w/o words "dont be gettin' smart), and He said, "One step at a time, hardhead." So I'm learning to be patient, and walk (albeit somewhat begrudgingly,) one step at a time.

In other news, The countdown is now a total of 33 lbs lost (since Oct. 15th.), and for the first time in a LONG LONG LONG...LONG time, I'm under 200. And I dont think I've ever felt better. (20 more lbs to go and I'll be right where I want to be, and get to keep my E-5 slot!)
Alot of people here have asked me, "What are you doing?" One guy even accused me of being on crack :) And here it is: One of my very best friends/mentors, Ginger has always told me, "Until the pain of staying the same is GREATER than the pain of change, then chances are, there will be no change". The first step was WANTING to change, setting goals, reasons for those goals and a plan to achieve those goals. The second step was to stop eating the garbage that i had been eating for so long- stop drinking cokes and eating fast food, and start hookin up some protein and cutting back on carbs. Is it a DIET? Nope. Right now, it's a lifestyle...the way things are. Change comes from the inside, and I think the same is true for our spiritual lives. We will not grow spiritually, or go to the "next level" until we are sick and tired of being stuck where we are.

Finally (I'm almost through, then I'll shut up), I want to let everyone know that we are doing okay, and we are safe, and hopefully dont have but a few more months to go. I appreciate everyone's prayers and support, it is a comforting thing to know that people are lifting you up to the Throne of Grace.

Sorry that i've rambled on, if you and I have ever talked, you know this is nothing new :)

Assad Isa Alkatakoom (May Jesus fill your times with joy)-
James

Morning comes too soon!

So this morning, I woke up about 4 a.m., which seems to have been the norm since I've been home, and there were 2 things impressed on me. (Apparently, my mind works in multiples).

The first was to continue to loose weight and put on muscle. I'll admit, that sounds very strange to hear me say that, because I've been fat for...well, too long to count. I just didnt want change bad enough to do anything about it. Well, we "crossed the big pond" in early september, and I started working out with my buddy, Wayne on October 15th. And in exactly 2 months, I had lost 30 pounds. I WAS 232 pounds, and now, I'm 202. And I'm not talking about looking like Arnold, just getting in shape. (Other than circle...circle ISNT a shape ;-). I head back to SouthWest Asia in 2 days, and I just felt impressed to make a new plan, to set new goals, because if I can loose 30 lbs of fat in 2 months, What can potentially happen in the 6 more months I have left?

The second thing is that there are areas of my life yet unsurrendered to God, and I know in my heart of hearts that He wants them, and that as long as they are unsurrendered, they will hinder me in being and doing all that He wants me to be and do. That may sound very simple, like you just want to go, "well, then, just surrender it!- Duh!" But sometimes, it's just not that simple. So, I pray for strength and wisdom to let it go.

Now, just rambling on a bit, I find it funny, that once I lost a significant amount of weight, I began to talk about "the way I used to be". And then, I remembered a passage from a book I recently read, (But sadly, now I dont remember if it was Our Covenant God or Velvet Elvis). Anyway, the author says that in the 1st Century, Christians refered to the way they were before they became Christians as the "old man" or "The way we were before". Before we met this man, Jesus, before we were reconciled and reunited with the King of Everything, and adopted as His Sons and Daughters through His Sacrifice, His body, His blood, His love. And I think that sometimes, we forget that, as Christians. We know who we WERE, because that's still a part of our past, our history, and we struggle with that "old way" every day, and Fail (alot) to see ourselves the way that Christ sees us. Down south, where I was raised, you are all the time hearing , "Well, I'm just a sinner saved by grace." And the truth is...you (we) WERE just a sinner, saved by grace, NOW you are the Righteousness of God, Kings and Priests to God (2 Cor. 5:21, Rev. 1:6, 5:10).

Anyway, I dont know if any of that made sense, and sorry for the rambling. Like I said, it's early.

Finally...

I have really struggled with what to put here as my first blog...I guess no one wants to tell all their business to the entire world and sound like an idiot, so if this does, well, too bad :)


I am home (Praise God) on leave from the Big Sandbox, and I must admit, it hasnt been anything like I expected. I hadnt truly realized how much I have changed over the past six months since I've been gone, and truthfully, expected that someone hit the "pause" button on life and people back home, knowing all the time that that is impossible. So this also being the holidays, there has been alot of lonliness for me, even surrounded by friends and family, probably from knowing that I'm leaving here in a short time to return to my "condo on the beach without water". But there have been two truths that have come to my mind from the Word of God. The first was given to me by my friend Jenn, in an email, and that is 1 Corinthians 8:3, which says, "If anyone loves God, he is known by God", and the second is Romans 9:25-26, in which Jesus says, "I will call those who are not loved, "Beloved", and in the place where it was said to them, "You are NOT my people", there they will be called, "Sons of the Living God".

As I've been here, enjoying the time that I've had with my family and friends, and trusting God in the heartache, He's been faithful to remind me that I am HIS. He loves me, even when I dont even LIKE me, and I'm His Son. No matter what.